Whether you call it a baby bundle, cradleboard or papoose thousands of years of human use can’t be wrong. Our unique “Happy Little Bundle” is the modern incarnation of one of the most important baby items our ancestors crafted.
Completely handmade on the southern shore of Lake Superior, the Happy Little Bundles are made from high-quality cotton calico and flannel and 100% washable. The base is a rigid frame with raised side. Sturdy spur grommets in the canvas tabs provide solid backing for the leather lacing.
Simply swaddle, lay the baby inside and then lace and tie. The baby is secure. Great for co-sleeping. The baby can’t roll over and the bundle creates a safe space on the bed. Suitable for newborns through ~10 months.
Find us at www.happylittlebundles.com
Hippie Moms love the aphorism “Every Cloud has a Silver Lining.” Chances are that you were given various things with this phrase on them at every major difficulty in your life, or at least a similar phrase. Seriously, there are entire boutiques for this phrase, plus any sort of craft from pillow to bookmark that she can dream up. The possibilities are endless.
Chances also are that every time you complained, she told you to look for the silver lining. Is it literally raining? More time to work on indoor projects! Lost your keys? Enjoy the outside air! Catch Swine flu? Your immune system will be stronger! Spouse leave? New opportunities to meet people! There is no situation where there is not a silver lining for you to search out, and she will not stop reminding you until you find it. That she will then point to it every time you complain is something you have to learn for yourself.
And now that you might be out on your own, you catch yourself reassuring your friends that “at least x.” As your friends complement your supposed optimism, you get to mentally shake your fist, “Kaaaaahn!” like, except instead the bubble of rage is “Mooooooooom!”
Even if they happen to take joy in telling you in detail how painful it is to give birth, Hippie moms will accept no less than an all natural childbirth for their grand babies. It doesn’t matter if when they endured the “joyous miracle” they had a C-section and were doped up to their eyeballs in medication that they later got a lump sum for having taken. Anything less and you are hurting their grand baby.
They will joyously introduce you to their friend Moonflower who has studied natural birthing cultures around the world. It doesn’t matter if Moonflower’s real name is Anne and hasn’t left the county in 20 years, Moonflower will be described as though she’s delivered babies in Malawi and Thailand in the same day. Heaven forbid you tell HM that you prefer your meticulously researched OB/GYN, or even a Hospital recommended Doula.
She will also give you a long list of “thou shalt nots” for your pregnancy. Please note that more than half of these things, she will ask you why you are not doing them once you hit 9 months and are “ready to pop.” Hot Tubs, Sex, and spicey foods miraculously become gifts from g-d at 37 weeks.
Speaking of gifts, there will be an awkwardly shaped package in her yard if you happen to have a birthday or even baby shower while still with child. No, it isn’t the Solar heated kiddie pool you agreed to add to the registry. It is, in fact, a birthing tub she got from a friend of a friend.
Happy birthing!
More Recently, a more Restrictive form of carbohydrate Diet has gained popularity with HMs- Gluten Free.
While Gluten Free can be a literal life and mind saver for those with a real Gluten Intolerance or Celiac’s Disease, HM will insist that every ailment you’ve ever had can be solved by eliminating that pesky Gluten. Which, by the way, is found in everything from bread to candy. Trust me, HM will find at least one of your favorite foods that is secretly causing everything from acne to that food poisoning you suffered after agreeing to eat her Organic GF Thanksgiving Dinner.
When we are lucky, we live places where they sell a wide range of Gluten Free products. The less lucky of us, however, will never forget the texture of Mom’s first attempt at home made Gluten Free bread- somewhere between the texture of Gak and dried playdough.
Thankfully, Jewish Moms have long since mastered the art of GF Latke’s. Not so thankfully, it means that every failed attempt at GF bread means you will be eating those GF Latke’s till even after High Holidays.
Then we get to cookies. Even your home grown organic Ginger bread (with extra chunks of ginger!) House sealed with Hand-tapped maple sap Will be GF this year. Even Chocolate chip cookies aren’t safe. If you are lucky, you’ll get a good recipe. If not, you will be pooing out cocoa and GF cement All Advent.
In case you were worried that mom will miss her daily dose of Sadism, have no fear. Fiber Additives are just as effective. Flax Seeds make for a Cringe Worthy Grin every time. And when you come home from the holidays, Mom’s Asparagus and Kale Loaf will spread the joy to everyone in the office within smelling distance.
There are two types of Hippie Moms- Gluten Free, and Whole Grain.
Before the onset of Gluten Free- well, Gluten Free everything- There was one familiar and constant aggravation of HK (Hippie Kids) everywhere: Whole Grain. And not just “not white”- We are talking full on, rye and oats stuck in your teeth when you talk to that guy in home room Whole Grain.
Amongst the many excuses reasons Mommy Dearest subjected us to this abomination? Fiber removed by milling the grain is still in it, which is good for your poo. Bleaching removed the vitamins from that White bread. And supposedly it’s good for your gums and teeth. (Which I will forever question knowing what coarse grain + sand did to ancient Egyptian teeth.)
And While the Mayo Clinic Might Agree with HM, we kids must wonder if maybe she doesn’t get some for of sadistic pleasure out of knowing you will have the stuff stuck in your teeth until your next dentist apointment.
The bizarre herbal remedies… the things that maybe shouldn’t be preserved that are… The Insistence that you should give up xyz and you will feel better…
In the Tradition of Stuff Korean Moms Like, Stuff White People Like, and the Comiseration Sessions of Young Adults Everywhere, I bring you…
Stuff Hippie Moms Like.
Please feel free to submit your personal tales of WTF, Horror, and Love.
*Chugs Disgusting Vinegar/Garlic Cold Remedy*
